Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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