so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
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