Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My life is pants optional.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
