i think i have two assholes
smell my finger.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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