First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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