no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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