i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What drink are we having for lunch?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
