You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
