I CAN MOONWALK!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
