spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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