I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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