Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
