I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
