Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize