this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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