This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize