There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
