i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
