Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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