I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
