How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
