I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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