I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
