I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
