turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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