Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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