I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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