ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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