First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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