one might say we're banned from that church
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize