honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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