The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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