I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
