Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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