I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
