apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
