she was so not down for the gang bang
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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