Already got asked if we're dating
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
