I wish life had little blips of pornography
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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