"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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