I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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