Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
