I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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