I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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