Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
