i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
