Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
