So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
