So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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