at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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