What did we do last night that was yellow?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
