Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize