Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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