I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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