She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
