i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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