If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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