theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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