Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
is it fun? or sober?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
