I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
