I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize