i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize