What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
