Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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