You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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