I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
