I think I am morally bankrupt
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
