Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
