Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
third nipple confirmed
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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