I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
