Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
