if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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