you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
