Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
