You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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